TV adverts on Montenegrin television

Staying at the MD Hotel in Bar meant the “benefit” of television. In the spirit of exploring different cultures, and as I was knackered after my fruitless two hour search for Kojic Apartments, I showered then grimaced through a couple of adverts shoddily disguised as information films. The sort of thing cluttering daytime schedules and which has morphed into tv shopping.

The first of these presentations was for something called “Slimmies”. As it turned out, a Slimmie is a tub. Several actresses and the occasional actor valiantly tried injecting glamour into their demo (which, essentially, was the aforementioned thesps decanting salad) by recklessly holding slimmies at crazy angles. But however hard they worked (some were giving a good account of themselves, others lazily using angles that weren’t that crazy), the slimmies gave nothing back. There was no water into wine moment; no sleight of hand, dramatic reveal or funny spillages, just some rather unpromising own-brand Tupperware.

The second product was the infinitely more exotic Wellneo Inhalator sa Kristalima Soli, an allergy-busting inhaler which appeared to work through harnessing the powers of ancient rocks (ancient rocks provided). As promising as the Wellneo Inhalator sa Kristalima Soli appeared, the presentation’s disarming tendency to focus on occasional tables and drearily decorated rooms was distracting, suspicious and crushed any life or enjoyment I may otherwise have scraped together. I was able to resist getting engrossed, so that after about twenty minutes or so of this nonsense, I turned the tv off and got out.

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I tried, but couldn't find out about Slimmies. They may not exist anymore, which would be a huge shame for Balkan food storage solutions